This weekend was a rollercoaster. I know everyone has their ups and they have their downs but this weekend was all over the place.
Friday evening my friend Kelley came into town for the weekend. We went to one our favorite restaurants, Mexico Lindo. We learned just minutes before that my younger sister Rebekkah, and her husband would be there too. We were laughing, drinking and being merry when I received a text message from my old friend Tiania. The message read: "Hey, girl, Michael just called me and said Nathan killed himself witha gun tonight on the beach." Needless to say, the mood was killed. Nathan and I dated when I lived in Myrtle Beach. Nothing serious but a few dates. We remianed friends the remainderof the time that I lived there. He was funny, successful, and fun-loving.
I excused myself and went to the restroom to make some phone calls. I learned that Nathan called his sister and told her that he didn't feel like he had any friends and he thought no one liked him. He told her that he was going to kill himself. This scared her. When he hung up the phone, she called the police. A few minutes later the police received a phone call from a woman on the beach that said a man had shot himself. This woman was simply taking a walk on the beach near were she lived and she passed Nathan. Nathan lived on the beach as well. He had just walked to the beach to end his life at the place he loved so much. He took the gun, put it into his mouth and pulled the trigger. After passing him the woman heard a gun shot. When she turned around she saw him lying in the sand. His birthday was two days prior.
Saturday I woke up and was still thinking about Nathan. Kelley is such a good friend. She doesn't say too much but she says just enough. We then realized we hadn't got a wedding gift for our friends, who were getting married in less than four hours. We had to go! We got up and ran to find a gift. She didn't let any one know where she was registerd so we went on a search. After a short search, we found it. She registered for a tool box. This intrigued us so we bought it. We topped this gift off with some Honey Nut Chex and A&W Root Beer, which she was also registered for.
We made it home with 35 minutes to get ready. There were clothes flying, make-up being applied, and hair being curl or straightened. Running out the door with 20 mintues to get get to the church, and looking great, we grab our silly gift and pile in the car. We made it to the church with only about two minutes to spare. The cathedral was beautiful.
I sat next to my friends, who are also not catholic, and later found out surrounded by other non-catholics. To keep us occupied during this long ceremony Kelley and I commented on people. We noticed the boots of the guy infront of us and the lady sitting with him that we thought he was too attractive for. This means nothing now but played a part later in the night.
After the ceremony we had to pass the time with some lunch and drinks since there was a three hour delay between wedding and reception so we went to McNellie's and then to my place. After a couple drinks and a quick touching up of the make-up and hair we were out the door again.
We arrived 20 minutes after six and it seemed like the party had been going on for hours. We went straight to the bar to grab a drink. At the bar Andy, a guy I work with, came up and said hi. He was a friend of the groom. I also noticed a very attractive man that came up to dance with Andy. I just giggled and continued talking to my friends.
The night went on. My friends and I had a blast! There was great conversation, drinks, a candy bar, catching up with old friends, and lots of dancing. I kept noticing this attractive man that I saw dancing with Andy earlier. Compliments of Dawn and her big mouth, I met this attractive man. Kelley was quick to point out that this man was Boots, the man in front of us at the church. His name is Austin. One thing led to the next and we began dancing. All of us. We all had a blast. When the party came to an end, he ask for my number. I gave it to him and I also informed him that I did have a boyfriend. I told him I didn't want to mislead him but I wasn't sure what would happen with the situation. He asked me why at 29 years old I haven't ever been married. I told him the truth, I never met anyone that I thought was worth the commitment. He said that was the best answer.
All the way home I talked to Kelley about my relationship with Kevin. I told her things that I hadn't told anyone. She is such a good friend. She doesn't judge. She supports me with whatever decisions I make. When I got home and put my phone on the charger, a message popped up. It was Austin, "Thanks for the nice night. You are fun. Come to Stillwater and see me sometime please!" I told Kelley I couldn't be with Kevin anymore.
I know that people who read this will judge me but shame on you for not knowing what is in my head. I have known that Kevin and I wouldn't work for a while now. We don't have similar hobbies or intrests. Our sex life is not what I would like it to be. I believe in health and wellness and he doesn't. He is OK with living in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma his whole life and I want ot explore the world. I would highly recommend him to any woman that enjoys the same things as he does. He has quialities that a woman would like and appreciate. I am just not that woman.
Austin isn't the reason I am not with Kevin. Austin simply opened my eyes. He made me realize that I can find someone who likes dancing, traveling, and having my kind of fun. I don't want to settle. I want to be with someone who is.....I'm not really sure.....just not like what I have had in all my past.
I woke up Sunday and ran around with Kelley. I got some new thing for the new apartment. When it was time for Kelley to go home, I saw her out the door. I then immediately called Kevin. We had a short two minute conversation where I simply expained how I thought we were so different and wondered if we would ever work out. He agreed that he had similar thoughts. We asked what we should do. I told him we should split up. He again agreed and said that he had been thinking this for a while now but didn't want to be the one that brought it up. So as of three o'clock this afternoon I am single. It's weird but what I asked for I suppose.
Why is it in life, the ups are the fun part and the downs are the bad. That is very opposite of a roller coaster.
